I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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