forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
