PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
