awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
