man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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