I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
