I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You pole danced in your parka.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
