hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I woke up under a house in Key West
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
