I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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