So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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