Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
home. puking in laundry basket.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
We are all done wearing pants today
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
