Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
