And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
