Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
