physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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