You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
