MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
