How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
