we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
