My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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