I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
