Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
