So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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