take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
