I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
