we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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