Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
