You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
