ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
