she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
