the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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