yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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