yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
