Fuck appropriateness.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
