No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
