me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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