Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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