I faked an abortion last night.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
