And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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