Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
