Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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