one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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