Screwed.edu
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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