it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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