Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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