I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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