I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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