p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
