The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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