She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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