so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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