I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
