Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
