we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
