I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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