i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You dont lie about slip and slides
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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