dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
