i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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