is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
