I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
It's rum buckets o'clock
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
