Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
She's the barista slut.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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